Day 1 - Investing in My Own Self Care
Went into the cleanse excited, as a lot of the work I do is to support others, and usually I allow my own self-care to falter first (kind of like how you mentioned in the speech - once we allow one thing to go...we give ourselves the permission to let another falter). It was nice to dedicate a few days to investing in my own self-care and nourishment.
Came home to my husband having friends over for football. The aroma of pizza and friend mac & cheese balls. Did not want to seem anti-social, but I had to excuse myself as there was so much temptation. Had a delicious green apple and sipped tea before bed.
Day 2 - Turning Desire into Choice
Woke up energized! Went to teach early Monday am with a huge smile. Had a lunch appointment with a friend, and she was completely understanding of having a restricted diet while cleansing. This was nice, because I didn't want to cancel our date but was unsure of her "judgment". It was so relieving that she was understanding and supporting.
The afternoon was a bit difficult. I was definitely having temptations but kept thinking, 4 more hours until I start day 3. What is four hours? Is it worth giving into my temptation because it's the solution in the moment? When you're working towards a goal, it's easy to give in...the difficulty is breaking through the first few temptations. As I learned in the full moon cleanse workshop, this is tapas...postpone our craving for instant gratification, which gradually leads to acceptance where we're able to let go of that desire. The desire then becomes a choice.
Day 3 - Becoming Unstuck
Woke up with low, low energy. Decided to do a light restorative practice instead of an intense vinyasa style class. Vinyasa is quite yang and this would not be nourishing, but depleting. I had to interrupt my routine, but I was open as in the workshop Rhonda mentioned to practice with gentle intention and an intention of this cleanse is to work toward purification.
As the day went on, started to feel this sense of relief and more attention to detail in my tasks. I was becoming less "stuck", some might call this "stuck" anxiety. Whoa. I noticed more clarity and a shift.
Day 4 - Growth
Woke up happy and light, and believe I responded to all emails by 8:30am (which sometimes takes a day or two). I made the space to unclutter and foster an environment for growth by breaking through temptation --> Tapas.
One shift I would like to share --> I noticed a yoga teacher post "it's just been one of those days" and her post includes her holding a bottle of wine. Recently, I have been limiting my alcohol consumption (something that became a norm with dinner as it seems to be "normal" in our culture). Why after a stressful day do we have to turn to alcohol? Why not a warm and nourishing bath? It made me think of a story a student recently shared. She mentioned that she just doesn't see the need to drink or care for it that much. Well when she would be at dinner parties or functions, people would comment, "What's wrong with you?" Why does something have to be wrong for making the choice not to drink? This cleanse and since the Joshua Tree retreat, I have really shifted my view of alcohol consumption and how it's so accepting to drink in high quantities. Really, what positives come out of drinking heavily versus taking time for self-care and nourishment instead? We have to break through that habit in order for purification to happen. Sometimes the hardest step is the first one or two, but once you reach three or four, the benefits are only positive towards your freedom from suffering. Life's too short to suffer day in and day out, live it to its fullest. Life is quite beautiful if you're able to unburden yourself and allow for purification.